Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
