How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
