I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
