If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Randomize
