you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
