I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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