Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
