yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize