I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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