she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She swung at the pinata with crutches
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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