i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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