you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
