belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
