Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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