love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
