Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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