I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
