you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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