YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
