idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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