This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
