he puts the penis in happiness.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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