I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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