who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
