My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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