You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
