I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize