It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
