my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
