For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
