Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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