she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
