But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
birth control should be required to get into college
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
