Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
that is very illegal...i love you.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
