Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
