Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
