I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
