I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
