he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
