best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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