did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
