from now on my penis is your penis
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
he shaved USA in his pubs
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
