Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
