Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize