Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
