i think my mom watched the whole time
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
