ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
