Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
