I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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