Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
