So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Randomize
