Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You need Xanax blowdarts
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize