Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
