im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
