Got a toothbrush?
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize