i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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