my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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