my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
