Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
