Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I did not marry a roomba.
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