I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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